This humorous article illustrates the major faults in present day communication and how to avoid them. Its centre theme is that reports contain many unnecessary words which force the reader to separate the important from the unimportant words until he becomes bored. The unnecessary words result from using indirect expressions, circumlocutions, the passive voice, and redundancy. This article gives examples of these unneccessary word generators and suggests how to remove them. It also gives other guidelines to improve writing.